Things have changed!

Both with this blogger formatty thing, and in life...but where to start?! Maybe if I start with what's stayed the same - * my password! Yey! And the anxiety at trying to remember my password to get in here, and the small joy at getting it first time. Yey. * the mess I live in. Still here, years later. I just read a blog post from 2011, listing things on the floor. If I was to do that now, I could take away all the baby paraphenalia but add colouring pencils, a drawing book, scrap paper spread from one side of the room to the other), a laptop, a pencil case, a tomato sauce bottle, a pair of pyjama pants, a Barbie, a football, my teacher basket (what's that you say?! aaah, I will explain!), 2 bowls (breakfast?), 2 plates (dinner?!) and a pair of running shoes. I can almost see the carpet. My tv is also still dirty, but Sid the Science kid has been pushed aside. These days Adventure Time and Gumball are all the go. * Still married with children, although obviously we have all got older. I'd like to say we have all improved with age, but that would only be 4/6ths true ;) I'm sick of writing already but was inspired by reading old posts so must push on. Things that have changed... * I work! 3 days a week. It all started almost a year ago, when after problems for C2 at school I decided to do a resilience course for children that was available to school teachers. Once I did that, I started getting used to having a life outside of the house and was almost dared to put my name down for casual work. I had to rise to that challenge, and before I knew it I was signed up to start the following week. I barely slept the night before, and the day was the most exhausting day of my life, but before the day was out I was again signed up for the following week, then the week after, then the week after! In Term 4 a 2 day/week job came up so I took that, along with my own class to prepare work for, and by the end of the year I was signed up for 3 days Term 1. Term 2 started, and while my other job had finished with the arrival of a new head teacher, another job popped up with some literacy/numeracy funding. That's where we are now. I love working, I feel like Linda Evangelista (was it?), who wouldn't get out of bed for less than $10 000/day. For the first time in 10 years, I wake up thinking I don't get paid enough to clean up everyone else's shit at home. Obviously this has not gone down too well, because someone has to do the usual jobs and if it's not me, then who? Kids are faster learners than husbands. * Back to C2, I can't believe I have never written about this before, but we have been through some very, very tough times with him over the past few years. He hates school, he has real anxiety about it and it's taken a long, long time for the school to attempt to understand that it is anxiety behind his ... less than desirable school behaviours. Thankfully, and without any clear answers as to why, things have improved HUGELY over the past couple of months. No longer do we cry every morning, do I have to peel him off the car, throw him into his bedroom screaming, am I weighed down with worry during the day whenever my phone rings, do I have to tickle his back and comfort him for hours at bedtime every night (while the other kids did...does anyone know who was looking after them these times?!). We've seen doctors, paediatricians, psychologists (yes, plural to all those) and were given no solutions to his anxiety. At the moment, he is all good but there is always a slight fear we will return to those days. C4 has started to not enjoy being left at preschool as well, which is a bit of a worry! If we had the answer for C2 then we could try that with C4, but we don't know what suddenly helped C2 so we are again flying blind. Boys. I will try and come back soon. Right now I've got a silverside boiling away and a cake in the oven, trying to fool myself that I love these non-working, quiet days at home by being some kind of super housewife. Some days Curtis and I go for walks or go out for lunch, but today is raining and I'm feeling a bit trapped by domesticity.